I began to get the idea that even if I worked like crazy, I wasn't exactly a favourite to win. The effect of this was that it really helped to solidify the idea that I had that I was some kind of underdog. I already knew that I wasn’t a cookie-cutter pretty soprano. Now it was becoming clear that I didn’t have the “right” family background either.
But like, it’s a pandemic, not a fun little experiment in telework. Therefore, I am reminded that I must cut myself some slack. The news and reality of what is happening in the world weighs on my soul, just like I’m sure it does for everyone else. I was wrong to assume that I could corral my life into a tightly orchestrated routine.
I miss the gym. I’m one of those nerdy kids who discovered fitness late, and then became addicted. I started running, and I got so into it that I eventually ran a marathon. I love weight lifting so much that I once did a bikini competition. I’ve worked at two different (very different) gyms. I’ve... Continue Reading →
It’s so poetic and counterintuitive that there is freedom to be found in structure. Weird to say, but I guess I like structure. I like having a morning routine to set me to rights, and a night routine to put myself to bed. These things can become indispensable companions in a world that’s topsy turvy.
I surprised myself this morning by waking up feeling dead calm. Not stressed at all. Not even the slightest hint of anxiety. I felt healthy and centered. Wow, this was unexpected. What a gift! Nearly my first thought upon waking was, what have I done lately to deserve this? Have I kept a perfect diet?... Continue Reading →
Experiencing jealousy is completely normal. Wait, let me say it again, just in case you missed it...
Getting jealous is normal.
It doesn’t make you bad, or immoral. It is not proof that you are a terrible person or a terrible friend.
It takes a little effort for someone like me to remain cheerful. One thing that works is to consciously acknowledge the things for which I am grateful. Yes, sometimes this feels about as appealing to me as eating a big ol' pile of brussel sprouts, but it's worth it.
Back before I got started in my current position, I had applied for a job with an exciting local marketing firm. It seemed like a really cool place to work. I could easily imagine myself as a part of their creative team. My days would be spent collaborating with my brilliant colleagues, sipping coffee, having... Continue Reading →
You cannot wait for the Universe to pluck you out of obscurity and say, "this one. I pick this one. This one’s special." Trust me. Tried it. It doesn’t work.