Fitness, 6 Months In

It’s hard for me to believe that I’ve been working from home for almost 6 months.

A lot can change in that much time, and it has.  I guess I don’t say much about my personal life  lately, because everything I have going on just feels so small to write about in comparison to the worldwide craziness happening.   

It all has me very much on edge. Since March, my sleep has probably been my biggest physical daily obstacle. It’s so much harder to do things when you’re tired, I hate it, and that’s bound to happen when you just plain don’t sleep enough. The more my brain starts to turn things over, the more sleep and I become distant strangers.  I feel like this is slowly improving.  

I’ve gained 15lbs.  I’m not particularly mad at myself.  I don’t hate how I look.  It’s just that everything in my life changed, and my body did too.  It’s logical.  No more walking from car to work and back again.  No more taking the stairs at work.  All of these little daily movements are gone, and weight is, of course, a bit of a math problem; less movement equals fewer calories burned and therefore more fat to hang around my hips and butt. 

Like I said, I don’t hate it.  It’s different but not awful.  I’m still curvy, there’s just more of it.  However, I have also noticed that I was feeling less comfortable overall in my body.  I was generally less energised and was feeling kinda frumpy.  I knew that I definitely needed more exercise to conquer that ‘blah’ feeling.  (And maybe something to kick my butt!) No one wants to feel hefty and out of whack, no matter how confident they are.

So I downloaded the Bodbot app.  Couldn’t hurt, right? You guys.  This thing is genius!

I’m not going to turn this post into an ad for Bodbot, but I am positively thrilled at the outcome so far:

  1. The weight gain has stalled.  I haven’t gained more weight in the past few weeks.  
  2. My measurements are changing. I’m not seeing a big scale drop but I’ve lost about an inch off of my waist.  I even think I’m seeing some arm definition. Yay!
  3. I feel better generally.  My body feels more alive. I like feeling good!
  4. My back feels better.  This is huge for me.  I have gained some flexibility in my spine, I don’t hurt in the mornings anymore, and I don’t feel nearly as achy.
  5. I learned how to jump rope. 

The whole concept of Bodbot has me pretty excited!  It’s an absolutely brilliant use of “adaptive technology.”  It takes any chance of bias right out of picking your workout. 🙂 Basically, the AI learns from you and is able to target your weak spots.  You do fitness tests before you start, put in your goals and Bodbot can fully plan your personalized workouts.  It takes into account the equipment you have available. The AI creates workouts catered to your exact needs, and it doesn’t care which exercises you’re stellar at.  In fact, you’re way more likely to get the stuff you suck at.  

Because that’s the stuff you need to work on! The challenging exercises are where the growth is.  Bodbot makes you focus on the niggling small stuff to become more balanced and foundationally stronger. (Example: Bodbot likes to get me to squeeze a yoga ball between my thighs and hold for 3 seconds, then release, and then repeat this squeeze another 22 times. Ow!)

Also! The jump rope thing! Holy moly!  

I was a shy kid, and from an early age I had the idea that physical activity was mostly something for other people.  I was absolutely dismal at team sports, I had little coordination, and…I sucked at jump rope.  As a kid I didn’t care enough to try to get better. 

Well, my beloved Bodbot has been asking me to do jump rope sessions.  I was initially pretty intimidated, but I’ve been making the attempt.  

The first time I took a  jump rope outside I was absolute garbage.  Tripping on the rope.  Thwacking myself in the back of the head with it.  I marveled that so many small children can master this with ease. I didn’t sweat it though.  I just decided that I would keep trying. I could probably get a little better through repeated exposures.  I couldn’t get much worse!

It was an ideal personal challenge.  No pressure.  A defined goal.   The stakes were low.  I wasn’t going to be mad at myself for failure. 

The second time, I managed to get the rope around a couple of times in a row.  By the fourth or fifth session I realized that I was able to string more of my jumps together.  I was better able to establish a rhythm!  In fact, the only thing holding me back now is my stamina.  I can actually jump rope!  It’s still really hard, but I can!

I’m thrilled with that.  I’ll take the progress. It’s damn satisfying to teach yourself something new. 

Speaking of something new, for me at least…my hair’s getting longer.  I can actually put it half-up now!  Hair growing is very slow-going, but this is the longest I can remember it being in years.  I’ve pretty much always had short hair as an adult.  20 years at least. I’m enjoying the new length so far, and I’ll keep growing it as long as that continues to be the case.

 Even if that means I have to wear a headband while I’m skipping. 🙂

Stay safe,

Jennnq

Time to Refocus on Fitness

I miss the gym.

I’m one of those nerdy kids who discovered fitness late, and then became addicted.  I started running, and I got so into it that I eventually ran a marathon. I love weight lifting so much that I once did a bikini competition.  I’ve worked at two different (very different) gyms.  I’ve read countless books and articles about fitness, and have even written a couple of articles myself!  Even now, while I’m not attending any gym, or working toward a particular event, those past fitness experiences inform who I am.  They have taught me a tremendous amount about what I’m capable of, and who I want to be. 

Fitness changed my life.  It’s kinda funny, because for years and years I just wanted to be a skinny girl.  (I was also a teenager in the 90’s, when ultra-skinny models were being shown just about everywhere.)  My desire was partly fueled by society, and partly by my own warped little mind…don’t we all want what we can’t have?  The women in my family are built short and curvy. We’re more inclined to big bums and thick muscles than to having long, lean limbs.  So of course I wanted to be long and lean.  Imagine having the grace of a ballet dancer!  Imagine having the height to be a model! This was frustrating to me as a short, kinda chunky teenager.

I’m not going to tell you a sob story, because Lord knows I’ve already done that plenty of times here. 😉  I’ll just say that my young experiences with dieting were not great. It was always a fight to make my body lose any weight at all.  It always left me feeling grumpy and unsatisfied. Worse, even if I barely ate (NOT RECOMMENDED) I still didn’t come close to looking like my ideal.  I was always disappointed with the results. I never gained any length in my bones obviously, and if I actually managed to lose weight, it was always off of my top half and not the bottom.  Weight loss didn’t make me look long and lean. Instead, it turned me into something like a short, sad triangle. Bony shoulders and a big bum. Not a great look.

As I became more involved with fitness, my confidence grew (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED).  I gained a deeper understanding of what my body could accomplish. I began the long, slow process of changing my feelings and ideas toward my “ideal” body.  I had never become “skinny” anyway, and the self-abuse wasn’t worth it. (Also “weight loss” without a focus on overall fitness is a horrible idea.)  Even if I ran mile after mile I never magically got long slim legs. However, my short, muscular legs could still take me mile after mile, and that was something! I never woke up with a teeny, tiny, tight butt, but I did discover my own natural capacity for strength.  These things did a lot to change my mind about what I wanted from my body. I became less fixated on the number on the scale, and more interested in what kind of athlete I could be.   

Because we’re all athletes.  We just vary in skill, and some of us aren’t currently in training. 😉

Thankfully, logic and some semblance of confidence have taken over.  I know now that I’d much rather look like a woman in a fitness magazine, with six-pack abs and killer shoulder definition than just “weigh less.”  I’d rather use my thick thighs to help me lift things and lend to my overall physical power than hate on them. (This has been a long time coming, believe me!)  I don’t have to force myself into some kind of impossible mold. I can strive for self-improvement, while still appreciating what I have. 

So yeah, fitness has helped me heal a lot, and now I feel like I have to ask it to help me again.

Because…I’ve gained a little weight through this whole crazy Covid thing.  This is neither surprising nor uncommon. I also know that this is honestly less about the number on the scale, and more about how I feel in my own body. The weight is maybe 6 pounds. Not at all a big deal in the overall scheme of things (in fact it’s embarrassingly minor), but this weight is NOT helping me feel good day-to-day.  

Here’s the thing though…. no matter what, I absolutely refuse to go into some kind of self-punishment mode.  I’m not doing that anymore.   Instead, I am committed to operating from a place of self-love and honesty.  

Honestly, feeling this way does not make me happy.  My fitness rituals do make me happy, so it’s time to get back to making them non-negotiable.  It’s back to 6x a week workouts. It’s back to logging my food on My Fitness Pal.  It’s back to making time daily to do the things my physiotherapist tells me I need to do to heal my back.  (Because I really really want to be able to run again!)

I matter.  My happiness matters.  In short, it’s time to give stress the finger, and continue working to be the person I want to be.

Even if I sometimes feel like stress-eating.

Even if I can’t run anymore and have to hike instead.

Even if getting up early to make “me time” is inconvenient. 

I need to be my healthy, hard-working self.  I need to feel strong. I need to do the things that build my confidence.  I need fitness. 

Also, shout-out to all of my iron sisters.  I know right now it’s hard if you’re used to working out a certain way and you can’t anymore.  Let’s keep doing our best to figure it out. You motivated powerful women totally inspire me! 🙂

Let’s come out of this thing stronger than when we went in!

A Large Afternoon…

Today has turned out dandy. ☀️Warmer than expected. I picked up a bunch of litter. 🍃Got some surf rock turned up🌊, and getting to some deck-friendly fitness.🏃‍♀️🤜 #Gratitude #GettingItDone

Hitting the Week Running

I ran 6 miles yesterday, and I am definitely feeling it.  I am getting back to running!  Although it is hard to come to terms with my current limits, (did I really used to be able to run 18 miles at a stretch?) just being out and being well enough to pound pavement is such a gift.

Running and I go way back.  I was never fast, and I was far from being “athletic” as a kid.  I guess I always admired runners, and was fascinated by the sport. Once I finally got to know long slow distance, I kinda fell in love.

Like with weightlifting or the theater, I think once you pass a certain point you’re an addict. I love it, but it comes with a bundle of nerves every time.  That feeling lasts at least until I manage to get going, although I sometimes even get butterflies about running while I’m running.  It’s a strange feeling; like I am not sure if I can do it, even though I have done it plenty of times before.  But the nerves are bundled up with joyful excitement too. There’s this primitive part of my brain that is always ecstatic about running.  That’s enough for me to keep returning to it.

Even if the road was tough, you can’t help but feel better after a run.  I struggled a bit yesterday to find my pace.  Still, around mile 3 I finally figured it out, and I felt pretty great from there.  It is nice to be happily recovering on Monday morning.  

I feel like I’m ready, more or less, to start another week.  I am hoping to be all-round “better” this week; more productive, more active, and more in line with my own ideals.  I am trying to do more of what matters to me, and still working on that work-life balance thing.  Running seems like a good start for that.