I began to get the idea that even if I worked like crazy, I wasn't exactly a favourite to win. The effect of this was that it really helped to solidify the idea that I had that I was some kind of underdog. I already knew that I wasn’t a cookie-cutter pretty soprano. Now it was becoming clear that I didn’t have the “right” family background either.
But like, it’s a pandemic, not a fun little experiment in telework. Therefore, I am reminded that I must cut myself some slack. The news and reality of what is happening in the world weighs on my soul, just like I’m sure it does for everyone else. I was wrong to assume that I could corral my life into a tightly orchestrated routine.