I just picked up two grocery bags full of icky litter!
I hate litter, but you know what whining about it does? NOTHING. (Unfortunately.) On the other hand, going out in the fresh air and doing a little dirty work? Well, it might not save the world, but it at least makes an immediate difference!
This post was made with the specific intent of encouraging you to also pick up litter. Even just one coffee cup missing from the landscape makes an improvement.
Springtime Blessings to you! 🐇🐣
It’s not exactly a mystery why. In fact, it’s infuriating. I’m so disappointed that my country has yet to ban fracking.
This is NOT the way of the future. It’s a path to hasten destruction! Such a waste of precious resources only to sloppily extract even more precious resources.
And the earth is literally complaining! The increase in earthquakes is linked to fracking in a multitude of papers and research. We know the truth. The only question now is how much further we care to stick our heads in the sand. (Oh wait…they already took the sand, along with an ocean of pure clean water, to blast gas out of the rocks.)
You know what makes my heart absolutely rip in two? How goddamn voluntarily stupid our species is. There is simply nothing more shameful.
…at the regular ol’ grocery store! I think it’s great to see this going more mainstream. Just look how delish that cover looks!
Heck, I picked it up ’cause I could use the inspiration! 🙂
So, if you were at a work meeting, and someone mentioned having just discovered Buddhism, how would you act? Or, if a friend of yours in the office confided, loudly enough to be overheard, that she just taken up a Hindu meditation practice? Or, how about all those colleagues I sometimes hear talking about a shared experience at church? What’s the proper office protocol?
Granted, the office really isn’t the place for religious discussion, but if we’re being honest, from time to time it does happen. And, if we’re all going to be tolerant of one another, ideally it shouldn’t really matter if it does. That said, I think if you encountered any of these situations above, as a rational human being, you are going to greet the person with respect. You might even be a little curious! You definitely wouldn’t laugh. That would be exceedingly rude.
Imagine my surprise when I encountered the following situation in a training class at work today…
There’s this middle-aged woman in my class, and I don’t know how they got started on the topic, but somebody asked her if she was Catholic. And she said, “actually no, if I’m anything these days I feel like I’m mostly Wiccan.” Which I thought was a lovely thing for her to say, and very honest too! And the girl sitting behind her burst out laughing. And I mean she really laughed.
It seems to me that most other religions would expect a little more respect. It also seems to me that my religion deserves every bit as much respect as anyone else’s. It’s hard not to react negatively in that type of situation. But I suppose I have to understand, it might just come down to cluelessness.😤
Perhaps there’s a way to gently educate my coworker? I haven’t said anything yet.
Listening to a Podcast featuring an interview with a demonologist, and all I can think is…
How do I get paid to do that??? 🤔
I had a nagging little thing going on in my life. I’m ashamed to say that I lived with it for a few weeks. Just a small, nagging little thing; something that needed to be done that I somehow couldn’t get myself around to doing.
You know how anxiety can make the slightly unfamiliar seem insurmountable. This thing was on my “To-Do” list, but I still managed to avoid it. In my case, my “nagging little thing” was a slow leak in the left rear tire of my car.
This is the kind of stuff that isn’t a big deal until it is. Obviously, I can’t go around with a flat tire, but it wasn’t flat. Just a little low. Inconvenient. The first time I noticed it, I buzzed by the gas station to put in some air. I have sensors on my tires, and I’ve had a slow leak before, so this part doesn’t intimidate me. (Due to prior tire experience, I know that in the time that it takes for me to say “one-one-thousand” slowly to myself as I inflate my tire, I gain about 20kp of pressure.)
I didn’t rush out and properly address the tire issue. Instead, I became even better at inflating my tire by feel. I can put in the air, hop back into the driver’s seat, turn the key to check the tire gauge on my dash, and be right where I want to be without overfilling, all in a matter of seconds.
So I just kept doing that. Every couple of days I had to make a date with an air hose to get my tire back up where it needed to be. Real cool.
So, why not just get it seen to right away? Like a sensible person? I could tell you that it’s because I work full-time, making it a bit of a hassle (true!), or I could say that I wasn’t keen on maybe having to buy a new tire (also true!), but mostly I was just procrastinating about having to do something mildly uncomfortable. I mean, to fix my tire, I had to take action. I would have to find a garage to look at my tire, find a time during which they could do that and not leave me stranded, physically drive to the garage (a place that I know shockingly little about), and then maybe buy a new tire. Car stuff is always a whole thing.
So I repeated the every-two-day tire-filling process ad nauseam. It almost became part of my routine.
Well, Friday morning I stopped for air at the gas station. Again. On my way to work. Again. I told a guy there that I was going to get my tire fixed or replaced over the weekend. I guess I only blurted it out because I felt awkward, knowing he had seen me come by for the exact same thing many times before.
Well, damn. That changed things a little. I might have had it on my ‘to-do’ list, but it’s different when you say something out loud, even to a stranger who probably doesn’t care about it one way or the other. Add in any accountability at all, even accidental, blurted accountability, and it changes the pressure in your mind.
I would recommend that all people with a “nagging little thing” build in some kind of accountability. It really lights a fire under your ass. Even if that fire is only there to convince you that you don’t want to have to go back on your word, or back to the hose at the gas station again, because now you’ll feel stupid.
Saturday I had some errands to run, and you know how crazy it gets driving around on Saturday afternoons! I wound up trying to turn left onto a main road at the height of traffic. When I realized the futility of this attempt, I changed tactics, indicated to turn right instead, and planned to use the next available street on my left as a way to turn around and join the flow of traffic in the opposite direction.
I turned right and headed up the road. I came into the next available turning lane on my left, and made my way onto a side street.
Right in front of a garage.
I mean, seriously, even I knew I would be silly to pass up this opportunity. Briefly, I imagined having to once again pull off the road during the Monday morning rush to inflate my tire. In front of that same gas station guy. Ugh. No thanks. Before I had a chance to convince myself that I was ‘too busy,’ or whatever, I pulled into the lot, headed for the reception desk and managed to get booked in for a couple of hours later.
I got my mom to come back out with me, and we actually turned car time into coffee and quality time together. Not half bad. We headed back to the garage together later, and…
It was only a dented rim! They knocked it back into place and everything was fine. I dropped it off and had my car back in a little over half an hour. No new tire required. Simple. Shoulda done it ages ago.
Have you also got a “nagging little thing”? If so,consider this your ass kick to make that call, book that appointment or take that next step. You’ll feel so much better when you do! Start by building a little accountability, (i.e. tell someone), and then take that action. It might be a whole lot easier than you expect!
Light, life and love,
-Jennnq
How is it that the gym fixes my head so well? 30 minutes of weight lifting and everything is right as rain once more…
It looks as though I will be fortunate enough to have this lesson last for a loooong time! It is…somewhat challenging to never complain.
I have finally arrived at day 3. Honestly, this is the furthest I have made it so far without having to reset. I have high hopes of making it to day 4.
Since this is going to take a while, once I finally get through with this, I might just have reprogrammed my brain. The repeated practice has already been more eye-opening than anticipated. I had assumed that my complaints would be extremely varied. About random stuff. Instead, I have found that they fall into a few main areas. Here are some typical things that might elicit an involuntary complaint, and have me switching over my bracelet in short order: a mild disagreement between my partner and I about how things should be done around the house, being a witness to poor driving during my commute, and any time I am feeling unsatisfied with myself.
Other than all of that crap, I’m golden. Clearly the solution is live alone in an isolated hut, doing nothing but eating salad, running, writing, singing, sleeping and practicing yoga. Problem solved.
Well, since that doesn’t exactly seem feasible right now, I suppose that I have to work with what life has given me. I can see that my complaints seem to spring from the places where I am rigid. The places where deviation is not desirable, and where I will protest a movement from the status quo. Interesting.
I know that I value needlessly rigid methods of organization. I can only load a dishwasher in neat lines. I believe that there is a “correct” way to fold towels. I read and follow laundry tags. I clean in a pattern. And then Jason comes along and he does things differently. And sometimes, I guess I resent that he has disrespected one of my precious systems. And, I don’t know, I suppose I wind up bitching because I take it personally. Game plan: Realize that everyone is different, and be more grateful that my partner is good at housework! Let go of what I can; the dishwasher isn’t personal.
As for driving, well…that’s obvious. I really value safe driving because I am an anxiety-bag and I really like not dying. It angers me when people are needlessly reckless, or they’re distracted, or they’re throwing coffee cups out the window. Ok. Logical enough not liking bad behaviour isn’t crazy. Buuuut, complaining about it doesn’t help either. Game plan: Maintain a positive attitude while driving. If I see someone doing something truly inappropriate on the road, I can do what I can to get their plate number and report them.
I also know that I am more likely to complain if I feel like I am not achieving my fitness goals, if I’ve slept in too much, if I’m wasting too much time, etc. I need to take care of myself to be in the right frame of mind to do this. Game Plan: Do my best to live my best life. When something goes wrong, forgive myself. Also, take the time to work through/acknowledge negative emotions. Meditation=Better than bitching.
Is this enough to get me through 21 days? I hope so! It’s at least got to be enough to get me to Day 4!
Working to turn complaints into action,
Jennnq
Full disclosure: I had to switch my bracelet over half a dozen times yesterday, so…today is my new Day 1! We’re off to an auspicious start! (That wasn’t a complaint, I swear!)
Actually, this is completely ok and somewhat expected. Proponents of this challenge, including Will Bowen himself insist that there is no shame in Day 1. Here’s a video of him doing/struggling with the challenge. (It’s only 3 minutes long!)
But still, having to switch it like, 6 times? Even I was a little surprised. I did notice that the complaints that surfaced were these bitchy little throw-away thoughts. They were grumpy impulse vocalizations about little things around the house, for the most part. So, at the very least, I would say that I am already becoming a little more aware. We will see if that awareness pays off today!
On a totally different note, Jason brought home a foldable craft table yesterday! I am very happy about this, because it gives me a space to set up my candle-making supplies in the basement! Candles are fun to make, but a they are a bit time-consuming (they must be left untouched for many hours while drying) and always a little messy. Up until now, my candle-making operations have been very limited. NOW I can definitely get a few going at once. Look at me, not taking over any kitchen counter space!
I am currently making a “Goddess” candle for myself. It contains scrap wax from the last one I had, and I think it’s turning out to be a bit of a smokey blue. I have zero complaints about that! (I use God and Goddess representation candles in my spiritual practice.)
Anyway, having a little time right now to do things like make candles and putter around the house should put me in a very positive frame of mind. Hopefully making it easier to cut out any and all complaints?
Either way, I am anxious to get the hot plate heated up and to get that second pour on the go! I can’t wait to get this one out of the mold and onto the altar.
In light and love,
Jennnq
Overall, I would have to say that I am grateful. How could I not feel fortunate? I am healthy and mostly happy. I have a partner who is also my friend. Things with the new house are going well. My teenage offspring and I continue to enjoy a good relationship. (That last bit is not something I take for granted. I am well-aware that not every parent has this!)
Yet, despite all of the light and love present in my life, I would have to say that I am an EXCELLENT complainer.
I am a sarcastic and critical over-thinker. I am extraordinarily capable of poking holes in things. Sometimes, those skills are actually great! I can take a piece of fiction and deconstruct it six ways from Sunday. It’s also good to have a grasp on the possible pitfalls and risks, which is something my mind goes to automatically. (In a group of friends, I tend to be the one nagging people to reapply sunscreen and make sure they’re hydrated!) But sometimes… sometimes it just turns into me being an anxiety-bag, and picking the whole world apart, only to wind up annoyed because it doesn’t come up to my exacting standards.
Useless complaining doesn’t help anyone. Although it may feel good in the moment, It doesn’t resolve the situation. It doesn’t endear you to the people around you either, and I feel like…sometimes, it can actually stress you out. If you allow yourself to ruminate in that energy, there is no way you’re going to be a positive person. I would reason that complaining a lot makes it harder to be happy.
I first heard about the 21-day no complaint challenge through productivity guru Tim Ferriss’ blog. Tim, in turn, had been influenced by Will Bowen, who is a minister, author and motivational speaker. He is the founder of the “Complaint Free” Movement. (You can find out lots more about that here.)
The idea is so simple; you wear a bracelet as a reminder on your wrist. Any time you complain, you switch the bracelet to the other wrist and start over again. Eventually, you succeed by surviving a full 21-days complaint-free.
SO SIMPLE. Yet…the challenge is obvious. I mean, I’m a positive-thinker, but…I don’t think I know ANYBODY who doesn’t complain, at least a little. Imagine how your mind would change if you never complained. I mean, talk about cultivating a positive mindset!
Suffice it to say, I can’t really see this particular challenge as anything but positive for an over-thinker like me.
To clarify, I know that sometimes what could considered “complaining” is actually useful. The classic example is ordering something in a restaurant and not getting what you wanted. In this instance, yes, you should (nicely) complain! The difference here is that the complaint is constructive. You deserve a meal that’s to your liking, and bringing the problem to someone’s attention allows it to be resolved. Constructive complaining, where steps can be taken to resolve a problem, is ok. The complaining that isn’t helpful would be complaining to pass the time, to shame someone else, to make yourself feel better, or to reaffirm a negative belief.
I suppose that I love a good challenge EVEN MORE than I love a good complaint-filled rant, so I’m going to take today as my DAY 1. I am not going to purchase a special bracelet from the website, but there are bracelets/packages available, and they appear to come with a variety of supports and extras. You can support the movement and get an official bracelet here: acomplaintfreeworld.org Instead, I am cheaping out, grabbing a magenta piece of string, and ta-da! a bracelet that I can easily wear without having to take it off at night.
I’ll be posting updates as I move seamlessly and easily toward my day 21. (Sarcasm is still ok!) Each vocalized complaint means that I have to start again.
Anyone else wanna try this?
Yours in hopeful positivity,
-Jennnq
Critical Happiness 